UGGGGHHHH

Sometimes, I hate my brain. I'm so dang paranoid. I have this feeling that I'm just headed for disaster, but I don't want to do anything about it because I do think my overactive imagination is acting up, but not doing anything is making me crazy. I feel like one of the people from Final Destination who can see their death. Even last night, I had this scary dream where I was at the mall about to get my hair cut, when I looked out and saw a parade of goats and shepherds marching by to a drum beat chanting "No, no, no, no, no, no"...idk what it meant but it was freaky and I woke up feeling like I just saw an omen. Maybe I shouldnt get my hair cut for awhile. Or go to a goat farm. But seriously, what do I dooo? I despise this feeling. It ruins my days that I try so hard to salvage. Sometimes having a relationship is so hard. Especially when you're like me and analyze things and fill in unknown details with your own insane ideas. I always get over it, but not before I get all worried and lose tons of sleep. But I guess its hard not to do when your significant other is over 1000 miles away and has left you for another girl before. Because then, leaving multiple times in a day for long periods of time abruptly and without saying I love you and being cranky and either intentionally or unintentionally hurtful, well it starts to make you panic. I'm sort of rambling here. Maybe this is how every relationship is. I often have trouble relating my situation to other situations, because not many people are in my position and I'm sure things are different when you're with the person everyday and when you're not. Riiight? If you're still reading this, all I have to say is: Why? I bet it was the most wasted few minutes of your life. And this is why I need a blog, I think too much. :-)